Preparation

During the past few weeks, I’ve gone through various stages of preparation for my trip to Peru. I am in the midst of transitioning out of my current job at the New York State Senate, moving out of my apartment and returning home with my parents for the summer, reconnecting with friends and starting the process of saying good-bye.

Two weeks ago I said my first good-bye to one of my best friends. I was curious whether the event would be unbearably sentimental or completely manageable and affirming. Fortunately, it was the later, assuring me that my closest friends and family will continue to be in my life in important ways while I’m away and at the moment when I return. There are various types of connections in my current life, and each will involve a different kind of separation. I want to remain open to the mixed bag of emotions associated with each departure.

As I inch closer and closer to that departure, about every two weeks there seems to be a new theme, a stage of preparation that brings with it increasing levels of calm and assurance that I am on the right path.

Medical:

The first chapter of preparation began the day I returned from the YAV Placement Event, scheduling doctors appointments, blood tests, vaccinations and follow-up visits in order to complete the medical clearance required for all volunteers. I’ve never navigated the health care system with such purpose and intensity. Beyond the practical need for a thorough health assessment, I believe this journey was a test in my personal commitment to this year of service.

To follow through with every detail, from my first EKG to the 5-pill typhoid vaccination, I asked myself at each step of the way, "Are you sure about this?" During each appointment, I was asked to describe the YAV program, and without hesitation I was able to share eagerly my excitement and joyful anticipation for the coming year. Each doctor's visit was an affirmation of my commitment to stay healthy and present during my year of service.

Each visit was also a reminder of how blessed I am to be in a state of overall good health. I was reminded of the many people who find an unwelcome familiarity with hospitals and doctor's offices because of a chronic illness, and those who can not afford to be sick. To travel through this maze with relative ease, carrying my health insurance card and more than enough cash for the modest copay, places me in an ever shrinking minority. Every encounter with this broken system is a reminder that we have much to do to improve health care in this country.

Financial:

During my two week tour of local health clinics I was also determined to nail down every detail of the fundraising campaign I've developed in order to raise the $10,000 required for all volunteers. I quickly oriented myself to Microsoft Publisher and designed a fundraising letter, pulled out my church directory and confiscated my mom’s amazing rolodex of family and friends. I think my rush in sending out letters was to purge myself of the unenviable task of asking for money.

The total cost for an international term of service can range from $20,000 to $30,000 depending on the site. Volunteers raise a third of this in order to help finance health insurance coverage for the year, payment to our host family for room and board, travel expenses to and from our site and to various locations in our country of service. Funding also ensures that there is a wonderful staff working at the national Presbyterian offices in Louisville, Kentucky ensuring that each volunteer has support and reinforcement during their year of service.

On a less technical and more interpersonal level, I am called to raise money in an effort to build a community of supporters, individuals and groups who choose to offer resources to an effort they find meaningful. It is a sign of partnership. Regardless of whether one gives money, if there is a desire to connect, I will do what I can to nurture that desire. I see this year as an opportunity to connect individuals and environments that would not otherwise find reason or have the ability to unite. And somehow, financial contributions make the giver more engaged in that union, if not for the simple need to know if one’s hard earned money is being spent effectively.

The joy others have shown in supporting this program has allowed me to overcome my initial discomfort with fundraising. This was especially true after receiving a recent e-mail from the Treasurer of the Presbyterian Women (PW) of Newark, New Jersey, sharing with me that PWPN decided to pledge a very generous amount in four payments over the course of my year of service. I continue to feel overwhelmed with gratitude. The women of PWPN have also shown interest in including me in one of their Gatherings when I return from Peru, to share my experience. This new connection has made me very hopeful for the new relationships that will be built out of this year of service.

Intellectual:

While the first two stages of preparation brought intial feelings of stress and anxiety, I entered the next chapter with much enthusiasm. Having been out of college for three years and longing for intensive study in a new subject area, I have created my own self-led introductory class to Latin American Culture, Theology and History.

The first book on the syllabus was chosen for me by the book club a friend of mine organized. At our last potluck discussion we picked out of a hat the book Motorcycle Diaries, the diary of Che Guevera during his year long journey through Latin America before evolving into one of the most controversial actors in the Cuban revolution. Guevera’s travels take him to a leper colony in Peru, which reminded me that for centuries, the nation of Peru has called many others to embark on life-changing pilgrimages.

A second book, Dancing with Cuba, was given to me by one of my coworkers, who has shown a personal interest in my journey to Peru. I find I’m much more inclined to stick with a book when it is given to me by someone else who says, "I found this in a little book shop and knew I had to get it for you!" The author shares her experience as a young dancer who moves from New York City to teach modern dance at a struggling dance school in Havana. I connected with the author’s desire to assimilate to the host country and culture but ultimately finding herself always out of context.

Next on deck are two more academic books about issues of poverty and social justice. The first titled Peruvian Street Lives: Culture, Power and Economy Among Market Women in Cuzco, describes the necessity of local food and artisan markets as a driving force in the economy in Peru. The second, titled The Call of God: Women Doing Theology in Peru, reflects on the principal of Liberation Theology through local women who bring real change to the lives of the poor in Lima. In my reading I’ve learned that Liberation Theology was developed by the Peruvian priest Gustavo Gutiérrez who stressed the need to eradicate poverty and its oppressive and destructive quality, rejecting the passive understanding of poverty as a Christian virtue.

My summer reading list also includes several books that all volunteers are asked to read before attending our YAV Orientation at the end of the summer. They are short but thoughtful discussions on living in community, understanding partnership and how to cross cultural divides through a common sense of mission.

Material:

During the past week I have entered yet another phase of preparation - the question of what to bring. I have made a preliminary list of clothing, first aid supplies and adventure gear. I was able to quickly note the basic necessities but fell short on the "fun and games" section. I hesitated to develop a list, telling myself that this year is not some adventurous jaunt. This is a year of intentional, deliberate action and meditation. But let’s be serious... about not being so serious!

My emphasis on simple living seemed to turn into a need to prove what I can live without, an effort to escape from certain elements of my currently comfortable life. At times I have misinterpreted this year of service as an opportunity to endure a certain level of suffering by avoiding certain material comforts. Recently, I've struggled over whether to purchase a digital camera and laptop for this journey, questioning whether these objects will distance me from the community with which I am working. More importantly, will these devises distance myself from God?

I initially resisted these items, imagining myself stuck behind the camera lens and using my laptop as a temporary solution to loneliness when I should really be developing my prayer life.
However, I have discovered that I shouldn't underestimate the importance of maintaining connection with my friends, family and my church during the next year. Capturing images to share with others will bring people closer to my life and work in Peru. What would distance me from my spiritual life would be an excessive use of both pieces of technology.

Considering my intense deliberation over this issue, I have no doubt that in the end I will prefer to draw a picture rather than diminish the essence of an image through a photo. I hope that I also prefer to involve myself in the life of my host family during the potentially lonesome evenings rather than shield myself with the light of my computer screen. But I do admit that moderate and intentional use of these objects may not be as detrimental to my spiritual life as I initially thought.

Spiritual:

My debate over technology has inevitably introduced me to my next phase of preparation - a more deeply spiritual discussion that will be ongoing where I ask myself, "In what ways do I distance myself from God?" and "How will I bring myself closer to God during this year?"

I am only just beginning to wrestle with these questions. And this, by no means, is just a two week phase that will be completed in a one stop visit to the doctor, a delivery of fundraising raising letters to the post office or a summer reading list. I continually ask myself these questions and I am learning how to articulate the thoughts that arise. In keeping this online journal, I hope to be open with those who read it, stumbling through language and ideas that attempt to grasp the evolution of my spiritual life during this year.